PASAHERO ACT 1: A Generous Saver

 The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’ Mt. 25:45

"Saving for yourself is good but saving also for others is even better!"

Unidentified Identity

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy road, when suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing and stopped, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.

As she was still in rage, she heard a tap on her window and looked up seeing a very serious police officer.The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After several hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him.

I noticed the ‘Choose Life’ license plate, the ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ bumper sticker, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday-School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.

Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car.

The Three Pasahero Acts

Obviously, having a solid, virus and hacker free identity is important for us. Without it, our life will be in total chaos. That is why we device a lot of documents (certificates, ID cards, codes, passwords, etc) expressions (rituals, body marks, signs, etc.) and even join associations to protect and proclaim our identity. But sometimes like the woman, we fail to live-out the identity we’re professing.

I hope this will not happen to us being a pasahero. Because the reality is that, pasahero is more that a group, it is first and foremost an identity. It is being a generous person, living the generosity lifestyle. And for us to be really identified, we should try our best to practice these three basic “pasahero acts” or to live-out our basic identities.

A Generous Saver,

A Generous Passenger,

And a Generous Example.

A Parish Volunteer Who Sends Children to School for Free

Let me introduce to you the first pasahero act, being a “Generous Saver” by sharing with you the story of Ate Lita.

Ate Lita is a 62 years old lady and a parish volunteer working for young people. I meet her during a group sharing in the recent conference I attended. She actually shared a lot, but what inspired me most about her is that she runs a foundation that sends poor yet deserving children to school.

At first I thought that she was rich, but I was surprised when she said, “Hindi naman ako mayaman, nagtitipid lang talaga ako para makaipon araw-araw para sa kanila. Halimbawa, hindi ako nabili ng mamahaling damit, pati minsan pag kumakain ako sa labas, tinitipid ko rin. ” “Meron din akong mga kaibigan na tumutulong sa akin.” “Wow, ang galing naman!” I said.

Unfortunately, the time for sharing was over and I was not able to share with her my own version of what she’s doing. But the great thing is that I can share it to you now. I call this act the “generous saver.”

Introducing: The Pasahero Ticket

The picture at your right is a sample of pasahero ticket, a small card that reminds me of my commitment to be a “generous saver”.

Printed above-middle is the “generosity creed”, the mission of pasahero. It says: The one who gathered much, did not have too much, the one who gathered little did not have too little.” Basically this means that when people started to live generously, resources will be available and poverty will be lessened.

P 6.00 is the amount that I can save every time I go to work by riding an ordinary bus instead of an air-conditioned one. I save this amount daily so I can financially bless other people particularly when there is a need. The date (Sept. 18, 2011) is when I deliberately started this practice.

Know what? Like Ate Lita, I’m now able to help a lot of my friends and even strangers in need compared as before. Yes, it may not be much, but the thing is I was able to give them something.

Can I ask you something?

Have you experienced a moment wherein you really want to give financial support to a friend in need but you can’t afford  because you do not have the resources? Then, if you will be saving for times like these, you will no longer find yourself again in this kind of situation.

So, I believe that saving (not only for ourselves) for others is really a must for us today. Because most often, you’ll find people who will come to you for support- just to get by - especially in times of emergency. 

Save any amount that you can. It doesn’t matter if you save big or small amount as long as you do it everyday. How are you going to save it also depends in your own circumstance.  Maybe you can save it by skipping a soda after every meal, preferring to walk than a tricycle ride in short distances or maybe by stop smoking and the like.

What is also good about this pasahero act is that you’re the one to keep your savings and you will be the one to decide to whom and how you’re going to use it provided that it will be use for others. Again, you are the one to keep your savings, so be committed and honest with it. In this way, you will experience “first-hand” the joy of generosity more than just being used to chip-in or donate some of your “extra” money to an organization or movement.

Being a Spiritual Depositor to our “Pasahero Account”

By doing this together, we will all become an active and spiritual depositor in our so called “Pasahero” Account that we'll be maintaining. For you to see clearly how this initiative will work, let us try to do some mathematics.

If I can save P 6.00 per day, I have P 42.00 per week, then P 168.00 per month, then P 2,016.00 per year. Let us just say that all pasahero members (68 in all) will do the same (with P 6.00 saving per day), we can save at least 137,088 a year. If we will continue saving this amount for just five years, approximately we have P 685,400 actively working to help people around us. How about a 100 or 200 people doing this for next 30 years? That would really be something!

However, I would like to tell you that this amount is only an approximation because in reality, our saving can easily decrease when a member uses his saving to respond generously to a particular need (which I advise), or it can also be suddenly increased when a member decided to add more to his daily saving (which I also advise according to your capacity). In any case, I would like to emphasize that the amount is only a reflection of what should be happening inside us- having a more generous heart, a heart that is mindful of others.

The ”iampasahero” group Facebook Account

Now, you may be asking, how are you going to know the amount that is already saved in our “Pasahero” Account?

Yes, this is where the “iampasahero” group comes into play. And if ever you’re not yet a member of it, I would like to invite you there by clicking here and I will add you. By posting a picture of your “pasahero ticket” there, (which I will give to you through email) we will have an approximation of our saving. To facilitate our group, I’ll be computing it and keep everyone updated from time to time.

Can you imagine that? A huge amount working powerfully saving other people lives, plus more personal encounters of giving and receiving?  No doubt, this will surely help us making a more generous world today and to the generations to come!

So why wait? Write your email address in the comment box and I will be sending you your pasahero ticket. Print it, fill-it up, and post it in our iampasahero group. Keep also your pasahero ticket always so that it will become a reminder of your commitment as pasahero.

I hope I was able to give you a good picture of the first act of pasahero. If ever you still have some clarifications, I will really appreciate if you will write it below.

I wish to see your pasahero ticket soon. And together let us inspire the world to become a more generous one.

May you have an inspiring and generous life!

P.S. Being a pasahero is easy as THINK, SAVE and GIVE.  Think for the amount that you can put aside according to your own capacity. Save this amount every day. And give it personally to others who are in need. Join us today! Click here!

Inspiration 4: Allow Others to Love You

“Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. 

Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete”. Jn. 16:24

Hi there. Happy Easter!

We come now to the last part of our series: Allow Others to Love you!

This is the last of all the inspiration of pasahero yet it also reflects the beginning.

If you'll look back, I invited you to allow God to love you mainly because He's the source of all generosity. And if we're not willing to receive His love and generosity; what can we offer to ourselves and to other people? It's also liberating to believe that God loves us unconditionally for it reminds us to be humble by not relying too much in what we can do for Him but in what He can do for us.

Now, I’m inviting you again to do the same.             

But this time, allowing yourself to receive love and generosity from others. I mean, from your very own family, relatives, friends, classmates, colleagues, to all the strangers you meet in the streets, terminals, jeepneys, market, malls, restaurants, shops, gym, schools, churches, etc., and yes, don’t forget to receive love from your Mother Earth.

Don’t be Killjoy !

Bro. Joey,a friend and mentor of mine told me:

 “If you’re not willing to receive from other people, you’re becoming proud and you’re not giving them the opportunity to show and practice generosity!”

And I believe he’s right.

Have you heard someone telling you these?

You look good today! (ganda mo ngayon ha!)

Your dress is very nice and fits you well!

You’re the best! (galing mo talaga!)

Great job! Let me treat you…

What were your initial reactions?

Have you responded like these?

Not really! (hindi naman)

It’s only my luck… (tsamba lang yun)

No, you don’t need to… (‘Wag na po, nakakahiya naman)

            These were usually your answers, right?

Yes, most of the time we don’t receive these compliments well thinking that others may see us proud, taking advantage or simply we're not convinced that we deserve the appreciation.

Listen. When we always behave like this, we become more proud than being humble.

In other words, we fall on false humility!

Who are we not to receive blessing from others?

And not only we become proud, but also we're depriving others to become generous and preventing them to receive the blessing that comes with it.

Who are we to hinder others to become generous?

Who are we to hinder others to be blessed and experience happiness?

Wag kang killjoy! Ika nga. (Don’t hinder other’s happiness)

So, my invitation for you is to learn how to receive joyfully.

Here’s the truth.

If God loves a cheerful giver (2 Cor. 9:7), God also loves a cheerful receiver!

The bible says:

“Since everything God created is good, we should not reject any of it but receive it with thanks.” 1 Tim. 4:4

Did you hear that? Receive every good gift with thanks!

And what's more interesting is the reality that we cannot be thankful without being joyful.

Why? The bible said:

 Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete”. Jn. 16:24

Hear that again? Receiving makes our joy complete!

So this is the reason why sometimes you we're not able to enjoy what was given to you. (Uhmmm...) It is because you we're not able to learn to received it well. 

Remember the handkerchief or towel last Christmas?

How about the birthday card?

Oh yes, how about the greetings? The good mornings, how are you's, and the congratulations'?

Did you receive them well? Did you really pay attention? Did you really enjoy them?

Or you want and expect more?

Remember this my friend- Don't ever miss the blessing that comes from every gift and don't even deprive a person to be blessed by every gift he never missed! (Get it? Read it again slowly.) 

So next time someone is appreciating you or giving you something (make sure it's good), receive it well. Say thank you (mean it) and acknowledge it with your most beautiful smile!


Do you know that Jesus (mighty and powerful he is) knows how to receive joyfully?

Look at these:

Jesus received the womb of Mary, (Mt. 1:23)

Jesus received the baptism of John, (Lk. 3:21)

Jesus received the five loaves and two fishes, (Jn. 6:9-11)

Jesus received the expensive perfume on his head, (Mt. 26:7)

Jesus received the feast of Zaccheus, (Lk. 19:5)

Jesus received the applause on the first Palm Sunday, ( Mk. 11:9)

Yes, Jesus received the shamefulness of the Cross! (Mk. 15:21-32)

Because Jesus received a lot, he was able to give a lot. He’s our perfect example!

Tree of Generosity or Tree of Selfishness?

I believe each of us has two trees waiting to grow (to be received) inside our hearts:The Tree of Generosity and the Tree of Selfishness. 

Only one is destined to grow, bringing more fruit, and bringing more seeds. And the truth is; it will depend on us what kind of tree we will be allowing to grow.

The Tree of Generosity or the Tree of Selfishness? It’s your choice! 

And I know you will choose the Tree of Generosity. Right?

Because there's no person in his proper mind who will choose the Tree of Selfishness.

Have you heard someone: “Oh, I’d like to be selfish, can you teach me how? If not, can you at least tell me where can I get a Doctoral Degree of Selfishness, Major in Greed?”

I believe none.

But the sad fact is some of us are learning the craft of selfishness and some of us are becoming and graduating from life with the Summa Cum Laude of greed. (what a terrible honor to received!)

The Water and Fertilizer of Generosity

Let me end by telling you the kind of water and the fertilizer needed for you to cultivate the Tree of Generosity.

The Water: Receive love a lot.

The Fertilizer: Give love a lot.

Learn to receive love and learn to give love my friend.

Remember.

Allow others to love you!

P.S. We’ll be starting a new series next time. And it will be about the pasahero_act: the three distinct ways for you to be identified as a true pasahero. This will be great and I can’t wait to share them with you! Thank you and God bless your adventure!

Inspiration 3: Allow Yourself to Love Others (Part 2)

"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may become the children of your Father in heaven." Mt. 5:44-45 

Hi there.

Last time, I shared with you the Parable of Jose and Wally; a parable that reveals to us the importance of transformation from being “fair” into “unfairness”.

Today, let us discover the benefits of “unfairness” and how this kind of spirituality can really help us to allow ourselves to love others and be generous.

WARNING: By the way, by reading this post, you are reminding yourself on how to live as a Christian and so you will be liable and responsible if you will never practice them into your life. I warn you, that if you do not want to practice Christianity, please stop reading this post and Click Here for you to go out.

WARNING 2: If you dare to stop reading this, something will happen to you. WEEEHHH? Just kidding! I just hope you will continue reading or at least find time to read this next time.

WARNING 3: Do not believe people who sends emails and text messages with this kind of “black mail” propaganda for thier personal gain. It’s really bad for your mental health.

 Lessons from a Mountaineering Guru

Ok. Let’s continue.

Are you familiar with Mt. 5:38-43? Did you know that Jesus likes Hiking?

One time while on top of a “mountain” he taught his disciples great lessons in life:

In a loud voice he said:

If someone hurts you- don’t take revenge.

If someone slaps you on the right cheek- let him slaps you on the left cheek too.

If someone gets your shirt with force- give also willingly your coat.

If someone asks you to carry his things one mile- carry it two miles.

If someone asks you for something- give it.

If someone wants to borrow from you- (don’t hide) lend it to him. (and never ask to return  it)

If you have an enemy- love him.

Maybe we find this wow, sassy, commendable, smooth, beautiful, inspiring, saintly… but in real life (when we're already in the situation) we also shout out for the world to hear: THIS IS UNFAIR!!!!!!!!!!

And the echo back fires and fading: UNFAIR, UNFAIR, UNFAIR, FAIR, FAIR, AIR, IR, R…..

The Spirituality of Unfairness: “I’m Just Being Fair!” Vs. “I Just Want To Be Generous!”

Yes for most of us, we think that these lessons from Christ are “unfair”. That is why many of us have this kind of self imposed philosophy:

“Lintik lang ang walang ganti!” (I’ll take revenge!)

          “Why am I going to say sorry, she’s the one at fault?”

“Sisiguraduhin kong pagbabayaran nya ang lahat ng ginawa nya!” (I’ll make him pay!)

“Di ako Diyos para magpatawad!” (I'm not God to forgive!)

“Babangon ako’t dudurugin kita!” (I’ll get up and you’ll see!)

“Utang mo, bayaran mo!” (Pay what you owe me or else…)

“Bakit ko yan pahihiramin, di ko naman yan “friend”? (He’s not my friend why am I going  to give him a favor?)

When we listen to this voices and not to the Spirituality of Unfairness:  The capacity (power) to “extend beyond what is normally "just" for ourselves”, it will really be impossible for us to develop the spirituality of generosity.

Jesus already warned us:  

If you love only the people who love you, why should you receive a blessing? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you receive a blessing? Even sinners do that! Lk 6:32-33

See, if we will not act “unfair” or be generous to our enemies or to people who hurt and debt us, we will never truly be a follower of Christ and worst, we will never experience abundantly the blessings that come from Him.

But, the thing is:

If we will generously love our enemies, we will be called children of God. Mt. 5: 45 Therefore, whatever our Heavenly Father has, we will also own it like Jesus Christ. Rm. 8:17

Choose to Give!

I know you’re asking me now if this kind of spirituality is possible for us humans. Or maybe you’re wondering is it still practical nowadays to act generously where we see poverty, price hike, injustices, crime, corruptions, etc. all over the country.

My friend, this is what I believed:

All human beings are very good and have the capacity to be generous. No exemption!

But the sad thing is that some of us do not allow this goodness and generosity to come out. Why?     

Because we are afraid and we let our fear wins our hearts.

Now, try to evaluate yourself if you have experienced these reasons why there were times you failed to give.

    The Top 5 Reasons Why People Do Not to Give

1.    People think that they have nothing to give.

2.    People think that there is nothing enough for them.

3.    People think that they cannot gain something from giving.

4.    People think that they will be abused and cannot get “even”.

5.    People think that they will be refused and misinterpreted.

When you allow these reasons to control you, you are hindering yourself to be generous. And the saddest part is: you’re not becoming who you really are - a very good and generous being like God!

God says:

Let us now create man in our own image and likeness.” Gen 1:26

Allow yourself to be like God and you’ll be Generous like Him.

Still not convinced? Watch this news clip from 24 ORAS, an evening news program aired on March 9, 2012 in the Philippines.

Did you hear what the rider have said:

“Kung nakaya ko ngang tanggapin ang kanyang mga sapak, hindi hamak na mas madali para sa akin na tanggapin ang kanyang paghingi ng tawad!” (If I was able to take the pain caused by his punches; then, it’s easier for me now to accept his apology)

What? Is he in his proper mind? O baka masyado lang nakalog ang ulo nya kaya nasabi yon.” (Or he just suffered a head trauma)

Yes, if you think like the world thinks, you’ll probably say: “This is unfair and He’s out of his mind!”

But when you think like the Mountaineer Guru thinks: “This is “unfair”, and He’s really on his proper mind!”

Listen my friend,

Choose to give and forgive!

Have you noticed the word “give” is also in the word “forgive”.Yes, you cannot forgive without giving, and you cannot give without forgiving!

Now, allow yourself to give.

Allow yourself to love others.

This is God’s image.

This is your image!

Let us pray:

Lord, you taught me that by giving, we receive. Help me understand and practice giving well, so that I can love myself and others well. Amen.

May you live an inspiring and generous life!

P.S.: I dedicate this post to all ACT and IT instructors and graduating students of Lyceum Subic. Thanks guys for your generosity.

Inspiration 3: Allow Yourself to Love Others (Part 1)

You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your friends, hate your enemies.’ 
But now I tell you: love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you… Why should God reward you if you love only the people who love you? 
Mt. 5:43-44, 46

It’s impossible to save yourself without saving others,

but it’s more impossible to save others without saving yourself.

The Parable of Jose and Wally

One day while having my personal retreat, I came across with a very inspiring story. I personally called this story “The Parable of Jose and Wally”¹. Let me share it with you.

Time-before-time, when the world was still young, there were two brothers named Jose and Wally. Jose was single and Wally had a wife and a large family. These brothers shared a field and a mill. Each night they divided evenly the grain they had produced together during the day.

One day Jose thought to himself, “It isn’t really fair that we divide the grain evenly. I’ve only myself to care for, but my brother has a wife and children to feed.” So each night he secretly took some of his grain into Wally’s granary to see that he was never without.

Then one day, Wally also thought to himself, “It isn’t fair that we divide the grain evenly, because I have children to provide for me in my old age, but my brother has no one. What will he do when he is old?” So every night he secretly took some of his grain to Jose’s granary. As a result, both of them always found their supply of grain mysteriously replenished each morning.

Then one night they meet each other half way between their two houses. They suddenly realized what has been happening all this time, and they embraced each other in love.

The Lesson

Ok, maybe you’re thinking; “If this is really a parable, why is the lesson very obvious? Even a grade school student can easily tell that this is about sharing, helping, or being generous!”.

Yes, it’s pretty obvious that the story is about generosity but let us not jump early to this message. Let me first tell you a not so obvious lesson that made the story more dramatic and inspiring.

What is this?

CONVERSION!

Why conversion? If you will read again the parable, you’ll notice that in the beginning it was said: “when the world was still young… the two brothers (Jose and Wally) was dividing their produce "evenly”.

Wow, very loving and righteous brothers. (how I wish all siblings are like them, especially when it comes to the land left by their parents) And I think you’ll agree with me if I said that their practice of “fairness” is commendable.

Then the parable goes on, it says: One day, Jose thought to himself, “It isn’t fair that we divide the grain evenly because my brother has wife and children to feed…” And then one day, Wally also thought to himself, “It isn’t fair that we divide the grain evenly, because I have children to provide for me but Jose has no one…”

Kabooom! These two brothers defy the “LAW of FAIRNESS!”

Jose and Wally changed form being  fair  to being GENEROUS!

What do I mean?

Take a look at this: The phrase”when the world is still young” could mean freshness, abundance, peacefulness. During this time, Jose and Wally’s practice is to give fairly: an eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, or in Filipino, patas lang, tama lang, walang dayaan, walang lamangan.

But look at what happened later: “One day”, (this implies that the day is never the same as before; scarcity, shortage, difficulty came) and fairness or ‘patas lang’ is no longer relevant to Jose and Wally’s condition.

Now, because of their situation, they both THINK that in order for them to survive (as well as for Wally’s wife and children), it is "not fair" that they only GIVE WHAT IS DUE to each other but to GIVE WHAT IS NEEDED by each other.

Again, the two brothers were converted from being FAIR to being GENEROUS!

From Fairness to Generosity

So Bro. Chad, the story is really about generosity? Yes, definitely! But please do not forget CONVERSION, the conversion from Fairness to Generosity.

Listen.

FAIRNESS is good but it is not enough especially nowadays. If we want to improve our situation on poverty, corruption, injustice, crime, child abuse, addiction, illiteracy, sickness, famine, drought, global warming, etc. we all need to be GENEROUS! There is no other way.

Believe me, if we consider ourselves as Christians, a Disciples of Christ; then this is no longer an option for us, it is a must!

Listen more to what Jesus said:

You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But now I tell you: do not take revenge on someone who wrongs you. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, let him slap you on the left cheek too. (Mt 5: 38-39)

Jesus continued…

 If someone takes you to court to sue you for your shirt, let him have your coat as well. And if one of the occupation troops forces you to carry his pack one mile, carry it two miles. When someone asks you for something, give it to him; when someone wants to borrow something, lend it to him. (v.40-42)

In the end He said:

You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your friends, hate your enemies.’ But now I tell you: love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you… Why should God reward you if you love only the people who love you? Even the tax collectors do that! And if you speak only to your friends, have you done anything out of the ordinary?(v. 43-44, 46-47)

I know this is hard but this is what Jesus is asking from us. Jesus said at end of the chapter:

            

           You must be perfect-just as your Father in heaven is perfect! (v. 48)

Now I hear you saying: “This is impossible!”

Yes, if only by our own effort but NOT when we are with God. (cf. Mt 19:26)

Are you Fair or Generous?

Allow me now to ask you some questions.

Will you give your seat to a man with his young daughter if you know that you already paid for it and it will be a long trip? Are you willing to extend a hand for the fare of your co-passenger even if you are tired? Will you lend money to your neighbor without interest although you’re not sure if he can return it on time? Will you come to a colleague and say “sorry” if you fully know that she’s the one who is at fault? Will you volunteer for a special assignment in your work although there is no additional pay for it? (at minsan abunado ka pa) Will you do an urgent and important work of your superior (who’s not always around) although you know that he will always get the credit?  

If most of your answer to these questions above is NO, then you (and me) needed to be converted, we need to be changed from being FAIR to being GENEROUS!

Why this kind of conversion is important for us?

Because without this, it will be hard for us to allow ourselves to love others!

Yes, if we will not change and we'll only settle for what is “fair” and not think and act “unfair” (when the situations calls it), we will only be callous and indifferent to each others needs.

What do I mean?

I’m  actually tempted to elaborate with you now this spirituality of  “UNFAIRNESS”  but sorry if I will suddenly end here. What I would like to suggest now is for you  to spend a personal time with your God to digest and internalize the things that you’ve already heard.

My wish is that with Him, you’ll receive the grace of conversion from fairness to generosity.

Until then my friend.

May you live a generous and inspiring life!

 

¹Crafted from ‘Two Brothers’ by Archbishop Thomas Murphy

Inspiration 2: Allow Yourself to Love You (Part 2)

            “Love your neighbor as you love yourself”- Mt. 22:39

“Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” 
- Rumi, thirteenth century Sufi poet

An inspiring day!

How are you friend?

I give you peace.

Last time, I shared with you self-fullness: an energy that allows you to love your “self” well. We also said that it is a virtue that comes from God which helps us to become more of a God-focus person. 

Now, maybe you’re asking: Why is self-fullness important for being a pasahero?

Ok, let me answer you with a very simple yet clear and obvious truth: 
“You cannot give what you do not have!”

Meaning, you cannot be truly generous (pasahero) to others without being truly generous (pasahero) to yourself! You cannot give an apple if you don’t have an apple, right?

So, it’s the same with loving others. If you cannot give an unconditional love for yourself, how can you give an unconditional love for others? If you do not love yourself well, how can you love others well? 

The 2^nd Greatest Commandment

This is actually the truth that Jesus revealed to the man who asked him about the greatest commandment, Jesus answered:

        “…Love your neighbor as you love yourself” Mt. 22:39

Yes, Jesus really knows best!

He could simply answer “Ok, the second is this: Love your neighbor and yourself, period. But Jesus understands it well that:

….man can only love others as much as he loves himself,

 …man can only give according to what he has,

…loving others cannot be separated from loving oneself.

I never understand this before. So I thought that for me to love others better, I need to forget myself as much as possible. That the more I deprive myself, the more I become holy. That I love others because I’m a loving person. Yes, there were actually times that I starved myself to death just to treat my friends lavishly (para mukhang galante¹). That I insist paying others fare (yabang ko²) although I know that this will mean barrowing money from a friend later in the afternoon as I set for home (yun lang³).  

Now, I'm still doing these gestures of kindness but NOT anymore in the expense of kindness that I need to give to myself. I now realized that before I become generous to others, I need to be generous to myself first. That totally forgetting myself is not generosity, it’s a sin!

Self-Fullness vs. Selfishness

Bro Chad, are you telling me to love myself first? Are you teaching me to be selfish?

Yes, I’m telling you to love yourself first but I’m NOT telling you to be selfish. What I’m telling you is to be Self-full!

Let me be clear.

Self-fullness is heavenly while Selfishness is worldly.

Self-fullness is a virtue while Selfishness is a vice.

Self-fullness is Godliness while Selfishness is Satanic.

But I warn you my friend: Selfishness has the capacity to camouflage self-fullness. That sometimes, you may think you’re doing one thing but actually doing the other. And so, “discernment” is a must for you to escape unnecessary guilt, self-adoration and even carrying toxic burdens in your life that you do not deserve to carry. (I tell you a story about this later)

Now, let me give you one way on how to discern between self-fullness and selfishness. I call this technique “Fruit Picking” that was actually taught by Christ.

“You will know them by their fruit. Grapes aren't gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles, are they?” Mt. 7:16

This is what I believe: if you live with fake “selflessness” (or you’re not being self-full) you do more harm to yourself (and to others) than doing good. 

Because when you think yourself less; you tend not to achieve, not to pursue excellence, not to think decisively, not to act passionately, and not to live deliberately. You settle for less, you settle for mediocrity, and you settle for what is enough. You mislead than lead people, you expire than inspire people, and you observe than serve people. You stop creating, you stop taking care of yourself, you stop doing your hobbies, and you stop enjoying yourself. You begin to over work, you begin to accept all things, you begin to stress yourself and… you begin not to breath. (I need to mention that last entry just to cut short my list of 101 Curses of Toxic Selflessness to People. Yes, I have more than a hundred on my list.)  

But if you’re really self-full, meaning: you approve yourself well the same way God has approved you (2 Cor. 10: 18), then you (and others) will reap all the great blessings of self-fullness.

Look at these.

When you’re self-full (expect 1001 entries now) you’re inspired to achieve, you’re inspired to pursue excellence, you’re inspired to think decisively, you’re inspired to act passionately, and you’re inspired to live deliberately. You’re inspired for more, you’re inspired to win big, and you’re inspired to receive (and give) more than enough. You’re inspired to lead people, you’re inspired to inspire people, and you’re inspired to serve people. You’re inspired to develop your hobbies, you’re inspired to enjoy yourself, you’re inspired to take vacations, you’re inspired to prioritize things, you’re inspired to be calm, and… you inspired to live! 

Okay, it’s obvious that I’m just “waxing the cracks” here (changing negative into positive) but more than that, what I would like you to discover is that: all the 1001 Blessings of Self-fullness To People has the word “inspired” in it.  And being inspired means: you’re not doing it alone, YOU and GOD doing it together. (by the way, it’s not typographical error, it’s really 1001 blessings compared to 101 curses because when you’re with God- you can do more, you’re mistake CAN be overshadowed by His goodness)

The Kuya Tacio’s Story

Let me end with a true story.

Kuya Tacio (not his real name) is single, in his early 50’s, and working as a street sweeper. He earns P 13,000 a month plus some mandated benefits. Before, I thought this is not bad for him as a street sweeper but not until one time he confined to me that he’s in a big problem.

What I know about Kuya Tacio is that he’s living with his 19 year old girlfriend Tacia (not her real name) and their 1 year old son (so, he's not really single at all). He also told me that his girlfriend is a daughter of a friend who asked him years ago to look after Tacia when she was still young. And in unexplainable magic, they fall in-love with each other and soon to get married.

Now, in our last conversation; I learned that aside from living with Tacia and their son, he’s living with three other kids. ‘Know what? They are younger brothers of Ticia. He told me sadly that he’s now “taking care” again of the children of the same friend who asked him years ago (while his friend is now living with another woman). And not only that, Kuya Tacio is also in-charge to support the schooling of one of his sister’s daughter. And because his niece is studying in another province, he needs to go there to give her allowance monthly to the point that he needs to be absent from work. And the sad reality is that- because he’s the only one earning now, he do not know how to be able to provide all their daily needs. (added the fact that Kuya Tacio has a medical maintenance)

In some way, after knowing Kuya Tacio’s situation; I was overwhelmed by his sacrifices and generosity. But on the other side, I cannot help but to tell him NOT to carry all the burdens on his shoulders particularly supporting his wife’s brothers and his sister’s daughter when he knows that they (his friend and sister) are not acting responsible to their own children. Added the fact that he only earns 13,000 a month, how could he really manage to attend to his needs and the needs of his wife and child, and the needs of three other children? Even Kuya Tacio told me, “Nasanay na silang umasa sa akin; kaya wala na akong magagawa, nakakahiya rin kasi kay misis⁴” “Ang hirap talaga ngayon⁵!” he added. 

The Lesson

That’s my point, if only Kuya Tacio understands self-fullness before, I think he will never find himself in this situation.  That, if he only practiced true generosity (and not accepting all the responsibility), his friend and sister could probably learned to provide and be responsible to their own children. And as for Kuya Tacio; I believe that he's now enjoying his simple, worry-less and fulfilled life.

I think I already exhausted everything I know about this inspiration “Allowing Yourself to Love You” and how self-fullness CAN help us to live a generous life.

If there’s something more that should be revealed, I know that you will discover it personally with your God. (please do post it in the comment box whatever it is. For sure we will also learn from you)

I also invite you to pray (and reflect) further so that you can be able to find and remove the things that hinders you to Allow Yourself to Love You- following what Rumi (a Sufi poet) advised, “Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

Remember:

Love yourself well…

Love others well…

God loves you well!

Today, live a generous life!

footnotes

¹ for me to appear generous  

² how pretentious I was    

 ³pity on me   

⁴ they are already used that I help them; I can no longer change it and I also consider my wife

⁵ I’m really in crisis